Why Boredom Can Be a Good Thing! (A Love and Logic Message)

A Tip from the Love and Logic® Experts:


If you've ever spent time around kids, you've certainly heard, "This is boring!" or "I'm bored. There’s nothing to do."  In days gone by, most parents had extremely simple, practical, and effective responses to such whining:
• "Here’s a rake."


• "Here’s a dust cloth."


• "There are a lot of weeds that need to be pulled."


• "I guess I haven’t given you enough chores to do."


Is that really legal? Could it really be so simple? Is it really okay for us to expect our children to assume personal responsibility for coping with dull times?


Absolutely! Since life is sometimes boring, doesn't it make sense that we allow our children to practice handling it, instead of constantly rescuing them by providing exciting and fun activities?
In our book, Love and Logic Magic: When Kids Leave You Speechless, we show how to give our children the gift of knowing how to turn boredom into industry. Yep! Boredom can lead to creativity and achievement when we respond to complaining about it in some of the following ways:


• "What are you going to do about feeling so bored?"


• "Some kids decide to go out in the yard and clean up after the dog."


• "Some kids decide to dust the furniture."


• "Some kids decide to read a book."


• "Sadly, some kids decide to go to their rooms and stay unhappy about it."


• "I love you. Good luck."


Do you want your children to grow up believing that it is somebody else's job to keep them entertained and happy? Or would you rather raise youngsters who know that the best way to feel good is to do something good?


Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.


Dr. Charles Fay


©2011 Love and Logic Institute, Inc. All copyright infringement laws apply. Permission granted for forwarding and/or for a single photocopy or electronic reproduction of one email tip only. Please do not alter or modify. For more information, call the Love and Logic Institute, Inc. at 800-338-4065.


or click on https://www.loveandlogic.com/  for more great resources.

Mindset

Here is a thought-provoking video for teachers and parents that can help us remember to praise children for their efforts and not their innate abilities.  The book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success written by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D. provides many examples of how we can always substantially change our intelligence.  I learned quite a bit from this short book and found that there were many inspiring stories, including those about Babe Ruth and Wilma Rudolph.

What did you do at school today?

What did you do at school today?                                                                   

"Nothin'," is frequently the answer to this question. And "nothin" frustrates a parent more than not hearing details about a child's day at school. One good strategy is to talk about your own day to your kids almost every day.  Share a story about something challenging that you worked hard to accomplish or tell them about something funny, interesting, or surprising.  Always try to keep it positive.  After a while, talking about your day instead of asking about your child's day at school sometimes leads some kids to say, "Don't you want to hear about my day?" or "Let me tell you about what happened to me today."

Another strategy to get your child to talk might be to ask a different question:

What happened that surprised you today?
What did you create today that was meaningful? 
What was the best thing about today?
What made you laugh today?
What did you learn about the world today?
What was the toughest challenge you had today?
Who did you help today?
Who did you work with today?
What do you want to know more about?
What did you love about today?

Give these ideas a try.  For those of you who have "talkers"...you are so lucky!

"Mom! Dad! I need help with my homework!"

Helping children with homework can be a real challenge for some parents. I really like this short video that gives parents a few good tips for helping with homework. Sometimes we do forget that it is not our homework nor our responsibility. Also, we need to remember that one of the best ways to raise responsible kids who complete homework is to make sure that they complete chores at home as a part of the family.

For more Love and Logic tips, go to http://www.loveandlogic.com/

Teachable Moments

Last week some students discovered this very interesting spider on our playground. Our lunchtime recess supervisors called for our building engineer, Mr. Baker, to come outside to capture it. When he arrived on the playground, he discovered that a group of kids had built a corral around the spider with woodchips. He picked it up along with a couple of leaves, placed it in a clear plastic container, safely secured it, and brought it into school.

Adults and children alike were fascinated and no one claimed to have seen one before. It created quite a stir, lots of speculation, and a some fear. Was it poisonous? Was it dangerous? Does it bite? Did it arrive here from another country? What kind is it?

Before long, a digital picture was taken (courageously) by Mr. Gulian, our fifth grade teacher, and it was sent to the entire staff to be shared with students. The real spider made the rounds to several classrooms. The research began! The very next day, students, teachers, and all staff members alike, were excited to share answers. There was even an email to a university professor and many online searches were conducted. A lovely picture of the spider was found on the cover of a book about spiders in one of our kindergarten rooms.

So the mystery was solved and fears were dissipated. We were all in awe that such a spectacular creature was living right outside our school and sharing our environment with us. We learned that finding answers helped us understand the world around us and put some of our fears to rest.

Are you curious about our little critter? Click here: Our Spider

A Love and Logic Perspective on Tough Teachers

I received the following message recently from Love and Logic's Dr. Charles Fay:

Tough Teachers: Why Your Kids Need at Least One

"While the vast majority of educators deserve great praise for their patience, care and competence, most of us have known at least one who scowled instead of smiled, yelled instead of whispered, and pointed out our weaknesses instead of our strengths. As parents, it's tempting to rescue our kids from such teachers…to demand that our kids be moved to another class. My parents felt this temptation when I was in the third grade. I still regard Mrs.___________(name deleted to protect the guilty) as one of the most negative, demanding, and cold people I've ever met. She did me a great favor! After the first week of school, my mom and dad patted me on the back and said, "You are so lucky. This year you're going to learn how to do something that plenty of adults haven't learned yet! This year you're going to learn all about how to get along with really tough people. We will help you with ideas." I wasn’t impressed! But they were right! When your kids meet Mrs. ____________, will you give them this gift…or steal it from them? Thanks for reading!"

Dr. Charles Fay

This is a timely message for parents at the beginning of the school year, especially because many teachers start out the year sharing procedures and rules to provide structure for optimal learning. As parents, we need to let our children handle some stressful situations to help them develop resilience for future challenges they may face. We can give them tools and strategies instead of rescuing them.

Overcoming Obstacles

When I was growing up, I loved hearing my father tell stories about growing up on Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, a place that I have been fortunate enough to visit. Hockey was a favorite pastime during the long winters, so he and his brothers and friends played it as much as they could. Of course there was no rink available, so they made their own by clearing off a rectangle on the ocean using shovels. The primitive rinks they made were bumpy, and the wind resistance was tough. There were no boards surrounding the rink, so keeping the puck under control was an important skill. The rule was that if you lost it, you had to go out into the snow by yourself to retrieve it. And since this rule was understood and enforced, the boys became pretty skilled at controlling the puck. Over the years, they became strong and able hockey players, coping with bumpy ice, strong winds and keeping the puck from getting lost in the snow.

As time went by, a pick-up team was formed by the group of boys. Eventually, a local radio announcer who had also been the boys’ former teacher challenged a well-established team in the area to play against the makeshift team. Both teams accepted and the tournament was on. My father’s team found some matching jerseys and traveled to the mainland to play. Of course, when they played on the smooth ice sheltered from the ocean’s wind with strong wooden boards surrounding the rink, they were faster and more skilled than ever. They did not need to use the boards to deflect the pucks because of their superb stick handling. They controlled the games and scored many goals to beat the well-ranked team. It was quite a celebration! Over the years, the story of that hockey tournament became a favorite, told over and over in the little Canadian communities on the island, but I think my father tells it best.

When I recall this story, I realize that when we are faced with tough obstacles and challenges, we need to work really hard and we become stronger and able to do more in the future. We need to remember this when we see our own children struggle while learning at school or learning life’s lessons as they grow up. It is so tempting for us to remove obstacles for them instead of encouraging or helping them gain skills to find their own success. We need to allow them to experience the bumps and hold up in the strong wind, letting them know that we believe they are strong and able. In the long run, I believe that taking on and coping with challenges leads to increased confidence and future success.